Sacred Union, Intimacy And Communication
Working with people in relationships and sacred unions, the one most prevalent thing I see that is destroying or sabotaging relationships and unions, is emotional cheating due to fear, lack of trust and poor communication skills.
Many like to share intimate details with a close friend,believing it is harmless, when intimacy is the most strengthened through vulnerable communication between the partners themselves, however so many do that outside of the union, rather than inside, in fear that the other will run or leave us once they knew the truth. or simply out of old habits and patterns. we see it time and time again, people even sharing their intimate details of their relationship with a complete stranger, rather than their partner.
We have so little trust in our own selves, our unions and our love, that we'd rather get help from a friend, or a stranger, even to tell us the nature of our connection, are we sacred partners? But these friends and strangers may not always have your best interest at heart, which usually ends in disaster.
The wedge between the partners eventually becomes a canyon and the relationship ends due to misunderstanding, lack of communication and trust. In many of these relationships, we also see a lot issues with polarity switch, where the feminine has become hardened and the masculine has become soft and needy and the more they remain in this energy, the more they run and chase. The healing has not come full circle yet, layers of trauma still needed to be worked on and a spiritual maturing process that has to happen for the partners to become accountable.
When we become accountable and communicate well in transparency, things can be navigated and compromised and trust on deeper levels are reached through their bonding and harmonizing. truth is felt on a deep level, the heart knows when it is being lied to and so even small lies becomes the energy of lies in the union, once this energy is allowed to grow, so will the disharmony in the union grow and intimacy, communication and harmony suffer as a result.
There will always be disruptive energies present around the union as long as there is something to heal, these disruptive energies serves as catalysts for growth via triggers and toxicity. The old ways simply won't work any longer and so a maturing has to happen. The alchemy of the union has long since begun. Disruption might come through templates, feeding an old pattern of behavior through close friends or relatives, it may come through work, your children or your belief systems, old wounds, parental templates and programs or societal programs and observing it and being honest about it, is the only way to heal together. we must be accountable for our own wounds and actively work to heal together as one. If you can come together through these hard times and be able to withstand the disruptions, trials and tribulations, you will come out the other side on a higher vibration in higher consciousness and thus more clarity in further strengthened bond.
something that will not happen without authenticity, transparency and intimate communication, anything else will produce an off energy in the unified field in the sacred union and it has always served me in my sacred connections to look at how this energy is present within each of us.
if one has fear, the other will have fear, even though it may not be the same thing they fear, they are both producing the energy of fear in most cases and so sharing how we feel always causes us to bond over the current energy as well and use it to work consciously with the energy as a unit. it often demands soul crushing vulnerability however, which will only help to humble you and empower the union. if these fears and thoughts are shared outside the union first, your intimacy will suffer. unless there is abuse, you will only grow from creating your most intimate bond with your sacred partner, if you are not best friends,
then I suggest you start building a friendship and try to look at it from a friendly consciousness, would you say these things to a friend?
would you treat your friend like this? would you allow a friend to do this?
speak your truths when boundaries are stepped over, maintaining healthy boundaries is alpha omega. this becomes clear in your testing stage, where your lines are as you get to know one another. if these lines are always being crossed,
then it is not a healthy union.
Nothing we experience in these sacred unions are ever for no reason, just be sure that you truly are in a sacred union and not stay in something toxic for years thinking it is sacred, a sacred union entails spiritual accountability. but even that, in the end is then a lesson which can be used to be of service. So if every little trigger serves a purpose, should we not thank the triggers?
Yes, learn to love them, learn to grow with them and do not let them take a hold of you and get the better of you. And if they do, be gentle with yourself, you are retrieving parts of you that has been lost in your bloodline for millenia and this is you setting yourself and your whole bloodline free of the accumulated patterns, programs and templates they have taken on over generations. So be kind to yourself and know you are doing one amazing job not only for your bloodline, but for the world.
Let's have a deeper look at intimacy and the unconsciousness that works against strengthening the intimacy in a partnership and can eventually result in it's demise.
an emotional affair can be defined as: "A relationship between a person and someone other than (their) spouse (or lover) that affects the level of intimacy, emotional distance and overall dynamic balance in the partnership. The role of an affair is to create emotional distance in the partnership."
If you notice your hearts beat faster when your other intimate connection contacts you and you would rather communicate and bond with them over your partner, you are already in trouble. Or even if you would rather share how your day was with them, over your partner, you are most likely already emotionally cheating. Emotional cheating can be so slight that we hardly notice it, until we have crossed the line and done something we regret.
Emotional cheating may include physical intimacy but not necessarily so. Emotional cheating may begin as an innocent friendship. Eventually, an emotional cheater finds himself intimately confiding in the person, sharing thoughts, dreams and an emotional closeness that would normally be reserved for his mate. In some ways, emotional cheating is more crippling to a relationship than physical cheating. With physical cheating, the cheater may still feel emotionally connected to his partner and may only be seeking to fulfill a sexual fantasy. With emotional cheating, however, the cheater's heart may no longer be in the relationship.
With the popularity of the Internet, cyber cheating is becoming a more common problem among couples. Cyber cheating can come in a variety of forms. Cyber cheating includes Internet pornography, online dating and flirting with other people on social networking sites. Cyber cheating is harder to catch than other forms of cheating. It requires the couple to have access to one another's computer passwords and to pay close attention to conversations each person is having on the Internet.
Text message cheating, also known as chexting, has come to the forefront due to the high profile affairs of celebrities who were caught cheating via text messaging. According to Fox News, this is a new form of cheating because it supplies the physical proof of infidelity. "Chexting" includes sending sexually explicit messages or pictures and texting to arrange dates. Even simple messages that seem innocent, such as asking how someone is doing, can be considered chexting if the intention of the person sending the text is to hook up with the recipient.
“Having any sort of affair is usually a symptom of an underlying problem in your life and in your relationship, Something is missing inside that makes you vulnerable to temptation."
it’s a scenario that happens all the time: You’ve met a new friend or co-worker and you instantly feel a connection. The two of you just click and soon, the text messages are flowing freely. You’re cracking inside jokes, you’re very subtly flirting and you’re thinking about him or her all the time.It sounds like the start of a very promising new romantic relationship. The only problem? You’re already in a relationship — and it may instead be the start of an emotional affair.
An emotional affair is essentially an affair of the heart, said Sheri Meyers, a marriage therapist and the author of Chatting or Cheating: How to Detect Infidelity, Rebuild Love and Affair-Proof Your Relationship.
Unlike a platonic friendship, there’s sexual chemistry between the two of you — and there’s definitely some fantasies playing out in your head, she said. You may even share unflattering details about your relationship with this new person — and naturally, you don’t say a word about any of this to your S.O.
"All of this drains energy from your primary relationship,” “If you’re fantasizing, having intimate talks and sharing things you should only be sharing with your primary partner or sending late night ‘just thinking of you’ flirty texts, you’re not just having an innocent friendship.” Eventually you may become more deeply invested in imagining what could be with this person, said David Wygant, a dating and relationship coach. “Even though you’re not sleeping with him or her, there’s flirting and definitely something going on,” he said. “You’re reaching out to this person because you really need to feel connected.” At some point, your actual partner can’t possibly compare with the other man or woman in your life, said Gal Szekely, the founder of the Couples Center for therapy in Northern California. “In many cases you begin to have a bias and start seeing this other person in a good light your partner in a negative light, even becoming annoyed or frustrated with them,” he explained.
Of course it’s OK to maintain some privacy and forge new friendships while in a relationship. You just want to establish boundaries and maintain transparency with your partner, Szekely said.“Your partner should be aware that these conversations are happening and you both need to be clear about what the boundaries and limits are of that new relationship,” he said. Meyers agreed.
“Just be sure you’re not taking attention away from the closeness you should be nurturing at home.” And ultimately, you should be able to tell if your behavior is veering on the shady side, Wygant said. “The bottom line is, we all know the difference between a friend and somebody we crave,” he said. “There is no borderline.”
If you recognize yourself in the descriptions above, the good news is you haven’t taken the relationship to a physical level yet. You can press pause on your budding quasi-relationship, disengage and work on your actual relationship, said Meyers. “Having any sort of affair is usually a symptom of an underlying problem in your life and in your relationship,” she said. “Something is missing that makes you vulnerable to temptation.” Only after you address the weaknesses in your relationship “can you bring stable footing to your relationship and start infusing it with the love, attention, appreciation, and affection you and your partner both deserve,” Meyers said.And if you’re not willing to fix what’s wrong in your existing problems, maybe it’s time to reevaluate your relationship status, said Wygant. “Be honest with yourself,” he said. “Are you satisfied in the relationship and if not, are you able to communicate with your partner about why you aren’t? Ask yourself: Am I willing to work on the relationship — or am I just going to have a series of emotional affairs until I finally end the relationship?”
You may be confused about whether you’re getting too close to someone outside of your relationship. “The first sign is what you’re sharing with him or her. If this person knows more about what’s going on in your life than your partner does, you’ve already entered dangerous territory,” says licensed marriage and family therapist Anita A. Chlipala, M.A., M.Ed., LMFT,
“Second, if you’re hiding interactions with this person from your partner, it’s probably no longer just a friendship.” Also beware of your friend’s words or actions that border on overly intimate or inappropriate. Without firmly letting this person know he or she has stepped over the line, it may seem like you’re condoning and even encouraging the behavior. The bottom line? Try to practice empathy and look at the situation through your partner’s eyes. If you don’t want your mate to see or hear your interactions, then you are probably violating the trust in the relationship.
Any of these ways of cheating, has the potential to destroy your sacred union at the very least hurt both. to me personally even fantasizing about another is cheating as it takes me out of the connection and the intimacy of my union. I hear of people fantasizing about another while making love to their partner and I cannot think of anything more disruptive to the highest most sacred act of being intimate, making love, soul to soul.
Your heart is no longer in it and it is time to re-evaluate yourself and your partnership, you are not in it for the right reasons and you may be holding yourself as well as your partner back from finding true love. true love is soaked with passion and desire for the one you are intimate with. anything else is disassociate behavior and takes you out of exploring true intimacy with your partner.
True love means being true, true to yourself, true to your word and truthful and authentic. It is not a fairytale that is granted to us, it is something that happens through investment in the union and having intimate communication, sharing thoughts, hopes, dreams and ideas in order to co-create better their unified field, mission and dreams and aspirations as these are always shared in a sacred union it will only serve you to dare to be able to communicate from the heart. Shift your focus and attention from your throat chakra down to your heart when speaking to a partner especially, it will make them able to listen a lot more and a good way to navigate disruptions in your unified field, if something is said from the heart with your vibration and frequency coming from the heart, the sacred partner has a much better chance at actually hearing you and in turn seeing you and the truth you share.
The intimate communication is key to a good union, to share big and small, as your voices and frequencies are also very healing to one another as well as others, this is why a lot of sacred partners are called to make videos, articles and share their frequency with others, as it holds the blueprint of alchemy in it's core. There is no way around it, if you cannot have peaceful communication and vulnerable intimate sharing and as little immature behavior as possible, the union will be robbed of it's third energy, your vitality through the display of rage, anger and in some cases even violence. The third energy in the union will then sink and both will lose vitality for a while. If this happens too much, the union will be drained and the radiance will be less and less. A good healthy union is a union where both feel energized, growing younger and maturing spiritually, becoming more and more accountable for their mind, body and spirit, these unions look and feel different, they just do.
There are many different ways of expressing a sacred union and in no way am I saying my way is the only way, I am saying it is a way that works for me and speaks for itself, Radiance and good health should be a natural by-product of a good sacred union, as both will be thriving and producing lots of healthy healing hormones and upgrading their lightbody. they are ascension partners, mission partners and union partners and their mission is their union and their union is their mission, what comes out of the union affects everyone they come in contact with, through their illumination, empathy and spiritual maturity.
© Ulf Haukenes 2018, all rights to this material except where listed other sources, to the authors,no copy, paste or reproduction allowed, only to be shared in it's entirety..
Definitions of cheating taken from wikipedia.